My baby started preschool today.  I’d be lying if I said I’m going to miss him so much  and am not ready for him to grow up.  I’m actually ecstatic for him to gain some independence and rely on others to teach him about the ways of the world.  I’ll finally have a few hours a few times a week to grocery shop alone, clean up our home, and start getting ready for our new little guy.

Even though I am excited for this time, I just dropped him off and balled like a baby in the car.  I am having unexpected feelings of worry.  Will he get the attention that he needs?  What if he gets in trouble for something that isn’t his fault?  What if he gets his feelings hurt and he just wants his mommy? What if he learns bad behaviors from the older kids?  Are his teachers going to like him or is he going to be “that” kid? Will they give him the words he doesn’t yet have the ability to express?  Maybe he’ll be a goodie two-shoes or a teachers pet 🙂

After my son was born I asked my mother-in-law when I would stop worrying about him (this was when I was staying up all night staring at the baby monitor), she said, “NEVER!”  Now I get it.  As parents, it’s in our nature to worry about our children and hope that we have prepared them enough for the world.  There will be many stages of letting go.  For some it is 6 weeks after they have their babies and are forced to drop their infants off at day care, for others it is starting preschool, and for all of us, it will be when they go to high school and then hopefully off to college.  You just have to hope and pray that all of the values you have tried to instill in them will help them choose their friends wisely, be kind to others, and make good decisions in their lives.  It’s heart wrenching stuff, especially knowing that they won’t always have the best teachers at each grade level, they will come across people that do not have their best interest at heart, and they will make many mistakes along the way, just as we once did.

We must find peace in knowing that we do the best that we can.  It’s not always perfect, but  as long as they feel our unconditional love and support along the way, they will be a-okay…right?