My aunt in her happy place.

Last fall I was having dinner with my brother, his wife, and our good friend from Seattle.  This friend is one of those guys who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts and always offers fantastic insights on life with brutal honesty.   Everyone needs these types of people in their life…someone that will lay it all out there, with no sugar coating.

I was giving my life update and describing my world as a stay at home mom and some of the struggles that go along with that, and he stopped me abruptly and said, “what would you change about your life?”  Such a simple question that I never considered.  I sat there with a puzzled look on my face and after sitting in silence for a minute, I said “absolutely nothing. There are small tweaks that I am making, but overall, nothing.”   I had been feeling like I wanted to have a project of my own and to be able to financially contribute to our family in some way, and was working on some projects.  I had been struggling with my sons 2 year old self and was taking steps to get him assessed.  I was working with an architect to design the remodel for our house.  I was talking to my husband about his job and daily frustrations so the communication was open and clear.  Basically, I was being proactive in making my life, the best life, and taking action to change the things that needed to be changed.  That question made me realize that I am actually really happy and didn’t even realize I was doing all of the right things to get me there (I am definitely tooting my own horn here, which in my opinion, we are allowed to do every once in a while).

Now, don’t get me wrong, my husband and child contribute to my happiness in a very big way.  On the flip side, when they are not happy, it is impossible for me not to carry that burden within.  However, these are just moments that pass, I am talking about my core happiness, when taking a step back, and reflecting on my life as a whole.

I think some of us get so focused on the things we don’t have or are wishing for something a little different, and forget that we are solely responsible for making ourselves happy, and should not rely on anyone else to do that for us.  If you want change, make it happen.   Sometimes, it’s just that easy.  Take charge!